Seventeen Candles
by Elle1205
Summary: Rachel's whole word comes crashing down around her. Set after a Very glee christmas.
1. Chapter 1

Birthdays had always been a pretty big deal in the Berry household. Hiram and Leroy would always insist on getting up earlier so they had plenty of time to cook Rachel a special birthday breakfast. It was the one day of the year that they didn't mind being late to work. Rachel would wake with a smile on her face as she knew her birthday traditions awaited for her, breakfast on the table followed by one present, the rest she would have when she returned home from school . Last year for her sixteenth, her father's had gotten her a joint birthday & Christmas present to go spend a week in New York, her visit of course was filled with seeing as many Broadway shows as possible.

This year, Rachel hadn't awoke to her normal birthday tradition. Instead she found herself sitting on the cold kitchen floor, her back pressed firmly against one of the cupboards as her legs were sprawled messily out in front of her. Her eyes were wide and sore from tiredness and a blank, emotionless expression was painted on her face. The young brunette sat silently on the floor, her eyes fixated on the card that was clutched in her hands. She lightly traced over the hand writing that marked the front of the envelope. The sound of her cell going off caused Rachel to jump slightly, turning her head slowly she stretched her arm out to grab her phone. Pulling it closer to her face she saw it was a message from Mercedes reminding her that there was an extra glee club rehearsal today, the group were beginning to panic over the next competition that was coming up. They were good but the needed to be better. Rachel sighed as she re-read the message, Mercedes like many of her other so called friends had forgotten her birthday. Not that she particularly cared right now.

An hour later, Rachel stood up from her kitchen floor. She slowly headed to the front door, picking up her jacket and bag she headed outside. Rachel squeezed her eyes shut as the sunlight hit at her eyes. Turning around to lock the door, Rachel began the thirty minute walk to Mckinley high. As the brunette arrived at the school she couldn't help but suddenly feel nauseous. Her strides became smaller as she made her way to the auditorium. Pausing outside the door, Rachel could hear voices already in the room. Glancing down at her watch she realised she was late. Holding her hand out to the handle, Rachel began to feel herself choke up, she couldn't face them, she didn't want to have to tell them the truth. Turning on her heels, Rachel ran down the hallway.

"Has anyone heard from Rachel?" Mr Schu asked as he handed out sheets to the rest of the new directions club. He frowned as all the got were shrugs and head shakes from the majority of them.

"I did text her about today" Mercedes finally offered up and then glanced at the clock. "Maybe she's just not coming" She added on which caused a smirk from Santana.

"Oh please, since when would little Miss diva miss out on the opportunity to jump on us for singing the wrong note?" she replied as she placed a hand on her hip impatiently.

"Can we just start already? I mean it is technically the holidays" Puck asked annoyed and was pleased to see that the group all agree.

"Alright guys, I get your point and I do want to thank you all for giving up your holiday time. Makes me see just how dedicated you all are" Mr Schu spoke with a genuine smile on his face.

The group soon got into the swing of rehearsals and hadn't seemed to notice the fact that Rachel never showed for the rehearsal. Almost an hour later, Mr Schu stood up and applauded the group on the stage.

"That was amazing guys! Seriously, we're going to be so ready for the next competition" He beamed as she began to tidy up his notes placing them in his bag. He paused as he looked up to see the 11 faces staring back at him, letting out a laugh, Will indicated to the exit. "Yes that does mean you are free to go enjoy your Christmas break. I'll see you all later" He told them, the group had all planned to go round to his house that evening as a little celebration for the club doing so well at sectionals.

Santana and Brittany linked their arms together as they headed out of the auditorium. Just as they reached the exit, Santana cursed out loud which caused Brittany to turn and look at the Latina confused.

"I left my gym bag in the choir room" She muttered in annoyance as she unlinked her arm from the blonde's. "You go on ahead, I'll see you later at Mr Schu's" she said with a smile as she turned and headed towards the choir room.

Santana walked up the choir room as she was texting on her phone, not completely paying attention she walked into the room without glancing up. Heading over to the chairs where she had placed her bag, she picked it up and turned back to head to the door. Santana suddenly let out a small yelp as a hand flung to her chest. She stared at what had caused her to jump, her eyes narrowed in annoyance as her heart continued to beat a little faster than she had liked.

"Jesus Christ, what the hell are you doing hiding out like that" she cursed out as she took a few steps closer to the middle of the room. Getting no response, Santana walked up the figure that was huddled in the corner. "Man hands, i'm talking to you" she said, getting annoyed at the diva for not responding. Santana rolled her eyes as she turned to leave. "Whatever Berry, practice is over, go home" she told the girl as she began to head to the door.

"I don't want to go home"

Santana paused in her track as she heard the little diva speak up. It wasn't the fact that Rachel had spoke that caused her to stop, it was how Rachel sounded, weak..scared. Turning around, Santana headed back over to Rachel and hovered over her. She studied her for a few minutes, her appearance was a lot worse than usual, Santana noted how tired the brunette looked and she couldn't help but feel concerned. Yes she didn't particularly like the girl, she was annoying, self-centered and over critical but she was still a team mate. Santana let out a breath as she shifted on her feet. "Why? You have some kind of fight with your dads? I mean seriously, we all fight with our parents, even those of us that think we have the perfect relationship with them" She retorted, not being able to help throwing in a small dig at Rachel who always constantly gushed about the perfect relationship she had with her dad's. Santana had always been jealous of that, she loved her parents but they never seemed close, not like Rachel and her dad's.

Rachel who had avoided all eye contact just lightly shook her head. She couldn't believe that Santana of all people was stood talking to her and she mentally cursed at herself for not running out of the school altogether.

"They're not there. They're not anywhere" She mumbled out.

"Whose not where?" Santana asked, confused at the diva's ramblings. As the girl went silent on her, Santana let her gym bag slip over her shoulder and fall to the floor, she watched as Rachel's whole body shook at the sudden noise.

"Berry, what the hell is going on?" she spat out as she placed both hands on her hips, she couldn't be doing with this right now. Santana watched as Rachel eventually moved her head, their eyes making contact for the first time since Santana had entered the room. Santana was taken back by what she saw, the once brown eyes that had always looked full of life and hopes and dreams were dull, lifeless and hardened.

"They're dead" she told the Latina, her voice was barely above a whisper but it was strangely calm.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:**

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who has put this story on their alert/favourite list..couldn't quite believe it last night when my phone didn't stop going off! And thank you to those that have reviewed. I know i'm not the best writer and I don't normally share my stuff but this was just something nagging at me so I figured I'd write it and post it anyway. So thanks for reading!

Santana stood awkwardly in front of Rachel as the girl's words rang through her ears and for once, she had nothing to say to her. Santana glanced longingly at the door, hoping that someone would walk in and rescue her from this situation. Sighing, Santana returned her attention to Rachel. She felt stupid, Berry had just told her her father's had died and she was just standing there. 'Come on, San. Do something' she mentally scolded at herself.

"Is there someone I can call?" She eventually asked as she crouched down. When Rachel simply shook her head, Santana pulled out her phone and quickly sent a message that simply read.

_help! Choir room ASAP!_

Hitting send, Santana put her phone back in her pocket and gently placed a hand on Rachel's knee. "Rachel, you can't just sit here" she told her and soon realised that that was probably the first time she had used the girl's proper name. When Rachel once again made no effort to verbally respond, Santana moved herself over to the wall and sat next to her. Santana wasn't good at sympathy or being caring, she wasn't entirely sure how she could comfort Rachel or if the brunette would even want her to. As she sat quietly next to Rachel, she moved her hand to find Rachel's and held onto it.

Twenty minutes later, Santana let out a sigh of relief as she looked up to see Quinn Fabray standing at the choir room door with a confused look on her face. Before standing up, Santana gave Rachel's hand a light squeeze and headed over to Quinn. Pulling on the blonde's arm, Santana took Quinn into the hallway, shaking her head at the girl's amused look.

"Did I really just see that? You holding Berry's hand?" Quinn asked with a chuckle but soon stopped when she saw the expression on Santana's face.

"What is it? What's happened?" Quinn asked suddenly getting worried as she glanced from the Latina to the door.

Santana threw her hands up and lightly shrugged her shoulders. What HAD happened? Leaning herself against a wall, Santana looked up to Quinn.

"I don't know Q, I came here to get my gym bag and find Berry sitting on the floor in an almost catatonic state, the next thing I know she's telling me her dad's are dead, at least I'm assuming it's them" She told her friend as she lightly rubbed the middle of her fore-head.

"Wait, what?" Quinn practically screeched as she looked to Santana for a more detailed explanation.

"She's just sitting there, she's hardly saying anything, Quinn, I didn't know what to do" Santana breathed out, her voice almost pleading with Quinn to go and take over the situation and sort the whole thing out. Quinn looked at Santana and gave her friend a small nod.

Turning away from Santana, Quinn headed back into the choir room. She slowly made her way over to where Rachel was. Quinn was sure that the diva hadn't moved an inch since her and Santana had left the room. Moving over to the girl, Quinn knelt down in front of her, resting the palms of her hands on Rachel's knees.

"Rachel?" When Rachel made no effort to respond or even acknowledge Quinn's presence, Quinn moved her hand to the girl's chin, carefully she moved Rachel's face to look at her. Almost immediately she regretted her action, what she saw staring back at her couldn't help but cause her to shiver slightly. Quinn took in a breath as she stared into the lifeless eyes of her team mate.

"Rachel, what happened?" she asked again, her voice slightly more forceful.

The brunette held the cheerleader's gaze and she wanted to laugh, out of all the people that were here trying to help her, she would never have guessed for it to be Quinn and Santana. The girls had never been friends, they would constantly tease her, call her names and worst of all, take her solo's but strangely enough here they both were, not laughing at her, not just leaving her but actually being caring. Rachel opened her mouth but for a moment nothing would come out, she didn't want to have to say it again.

"There was ice, the car...it skidded, they couldn't..." Rachel mumbled out words, knowing that it made no sense but right now it was all she could offer the blonde who thankfully seemed to be able to put them together to work out what Rachel was trying to say.

Quinn stared back at Rachel as she mumbled out a response to her question, it was just enough for her to put the pieces together. Her dads had lost control of their car. Quinn scooted herself forward slightly and gripped Rachel's hands in her own.

"Rachel come on, let's get out of here" she started and frowned as Rachel firmly shook her head. Of course, she should have realised Rachel wasn't going to make this easy.

"Please, Rachel, you can't stay here. We can go to my house?" She offered up and let out a sigh of relief as the brunette eventually nodded her head. Smiling, Quinn stood herself up and extended her hand out to Rachel, she was slightly taken back when she shrugged it off. Quinn headed towards the door, pausing before she opened it to make sure Rachel had followed her. Satisfied that the girl wasn't going to run back and huddle in the corner, Quinn opened the door and was instantly met by Santana.

"I'm taking her back to mine, can you text the others?" She asked in a hushed whisper and was thankful when Santana nodded and fell back as she let Rachel and Quinn head out to the car park.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:  
Once again thank you to everyone who has added this story to their favourites/alerts. I seriously didn't expect anyone to actually read it! Anyway, here's the next update. Sorry it's taken a while. Let me know what you think..if there's anything you particularly want to see or something you're not liking. At the moment there's no set pairs, I wanted it to mainly focus on Rachel. Again, let me know what you think!  
**

There had been many a times Quinn Fabray had wished for Rachel Berry to just be silent. She had never known someone who seemed to like their own voice so much but right now she hated the fact that the brunette next to her was slumped in the passenger seat, staring out the window silently. Not being able to bare the silence any longer, Quinn leaned forward and switched the radio on, she turned the volume down so all that could be heard was the low humming of the songs. Quinn slightly turned her head to see if Rachel had reacted at all but found herself sighing as she saw the smaller girl hadn't moved. Quinn wanted to say something, anything just to get the girl talking but anything that she came into her mind just sounded stupid, what could she say to her? Rachel had just lost her whole world, everything that she knew and loved was just gone, she was alone. Quinn found herself tearing up as she thought about it, no-one deserved to be alone, she wouldn't wish that upon anyone, not even her worst enemy. Pulling up to her house, Quinn let the car roll to a stop. Unbuckling her belt she turned to Rachel. Placing a hand on the girl's shoulder she tapped her lightly, feeling a little guilty when the girl suddenly jumped, whipping her head around to face Quinn who shot her a small smile.

"Sorry" She apologised and then waved her hand to the house they were parked in front.

"We're here, come on, let's go in and get warm" Quinn told her as she noticed the girl was wearing nothing but a small skirt and a short sleeved tee. Rachel simply nodded and got out the car and followed Quinn into the house. Rachel slowly walked behind Quinn who led her into what she assumed to be the living room. Quinn motioned for Rachel to sit on the couch.

"Tea? Hot chocolate?" the blonde offered and frowned when the brunette just shook her head.

"Rachel, you either choose or I'll pick for you and you'll know i'll just make it wrong and you'll just politely sit there and drink it anyway, so you may as well just tell me." Quinn said with a small sigh but then smiled slightly as she saw Rachel laugh lightly.

"Hot chocolate, one sugar" Rachel instructed and watched as Quinn left the room. Rachel sat on the edge of the sofa, her hands tucked underneath her legs. She suddenly realised how tired she felt, her eyes began to feel heavy. Shaking her head slightly, she abruptly stood up. The last thing she needed was to fall asleep on Quinn Fabray's couch, she would never let that down. Hearing the familiar footsteps, Rachel looked up to Quinn's frowning face.

"Something wrong with the couch?" she queried as she handed the hot mug over to Rachel.

Shaking her head, Rachel accepted the mug with a small smile.

"No, i just didn't want to get too comfortable" she answered honestly as she leaned against the wall and watched Quinn sit in the spot she had just been. "Quinn why are you doing this?" Rachel suddenly asked as she chewed on her lip slightly. She held eye contact with the blonde who seemed confused at what she was asking. Sensing this, Rachel expanded. "Being nice, you and Santana, you've always been..awful" Rachel blurted out and instantly regretted it as she saw the look of hurt flash across Quinn's face.

"You told me that when I was pregnant, I would need glee, I didn't really believe you at first, I only joined glee to keep an eye on you and Finn" she started and took a breath.

"But i soon understood, you guys were the only ones that didn't treat me any differently, you were all there for me, especially you, when I had, have been nothing but horrible to you. Now it's your turn, Rach. You need people there for you, let us help you" Quinn spoke honestly to the brunette, her eyes filling up with tears.

"Rachel I really am sorry for everything I did to you" she repeated and looked up at her. Rachel looked at Quinn for a few moments and simply nodded.

"Thank you" she whispered out, not entirely sure what else she could say, she felt too tired to even take in all of what Quinn had said, she was grateful to the cheerleader but right now all she wanted to do was sleep.

"Do you want to go lie down? You look really tired" Quinn said with slight concern in her eyes as she watched the brunette practically fall asleep standing up. Feeling relieved when Rachel agreed, Quinn told Rachel where she could find her room.

"Take as long as you need, I'll be right here" Quinn told her before she left the room.

Rachel smiled again at the girl. "Thank you, Quinn, really" she said as she headed out of the room and headed up the stairs.

Once Rachel was gone, Quinn sunk herself into the sofa as she bought her legs up close to her chest. Letting out a sigh she grabbed her phone to see she had several texts and missed calls.

_Hows berry? – San_

_Quinn what's goin on? Weird cryptic message from Santana about Rachel? – Kurt_

_Santana said to message you? What's wrong with Rachel?-Mercedes_

_I can't remember why I needed to txt you..can you? – Brittany_

_What's the matter with Rachel? Santana said I should text you? If it's about getting bk 2gether tell her I'm not intrstd. – Finn._

Reading the last of the texts, Quinn ran a hand through her hair. Sitting herself up a little straighter she started to type out a message to send to all the glee club.

_Rachel's dad's were killed last night, car accident. She's at my house right now & pretty messed up. I dont know what to do or say to her..she needs us. Q. _

As she sent the text, Quinn got up and grabbed one of the phone books, she flipped through the pages until she finally found the name she was looking for. Copying the number from the book, Quinn dialed and held the cell to her ear. A sigh of relief escaped from her mouth when she heard the familiar male voice.

"_Hello?"_

"Mr Schue? It's Quinn. Something's happened" she started as she breathed out a shaky breath.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:  
I know I keep saying this but I want to thank you all for reading/reviewing/adding to alerts. A few of you have said you don't want this to be a pucklerry or Finchel fic. I ship both but its not where I want to take this fic, I want it to be purely about Rachel and friendships. What would people like to see in the sense of Rachel's living arrangements? It's something I can't decide what should happen. Any opinions? I'm open to them, seeing as it probably won't be decided for a while yet. Anyway here's the next part, hope you like it! I don't have a beat for this so if anyones up for the job it would be great!**

It didn't take long for whole group to turn up at Quinn's house. Finn was the last to show up, he walked into the house with his hands tucked into his pockets. He headed over and went and sat down with Kurt.

"Mr Schuester's on his way, I figured he should be here too" Quinn told the group as she bought in a tray of drinks for her friends and handed them around.

"What actually happened? I mean no offence but you two aren't exactly bffs, why is she here?" Mercedes piped up as she leaned forward taking one of the drinks from the tray. Quinn sighed and looked to Santana.

"Long story short, I left my bag in the choir room, went to get it and found Berry all zoned out. I called Quinn because she's much better at dealing with these things than me" Santana said with a light shrug as she looked back to Quinn to finish the story.

"I didn't know what else to do so I bought her back here" Quinn said with a small sigh as she looked to the faces of her friends who seemed just as lost as she was. They were still kids, they shouldn't have to deal with half the issues they had been dealt. The sound of the doorbell ringing shook Quinn from her thoughts. She let out a sigh of relief as she saw Mr. Schuester standing there. The older man gave her a smile and lightly squeezed her shoulder before following her into the living room. As they entered the room, Will saw all of the glee club kids sitting around.

"Hey guys" he spoke as he glanced around not seeing the main reason for them all being there. "Where is she?" he asked as he looked round to Quinn who motioned up with her head.

"She's lying down, I checked on her half hour ago, she was out of it" Quinn told him as the pair went and sat down.

"Mr Schue, what happens to her now? I mean she doesn't have any other relatives does she?" Tina asked as she looked around the group, all clearly feeling guilty at not knowing the answer.

"Well she's 16, she could legally file for emancipation at this age so it's possible they'd let her live on her own if she doesn't it would mean foster care if she has no other relatives" he told the group with a sad expression. He didn't like either of those options for Rachel.

"There's always Shelby" Puck spoke up but the group remained silent, they all knew that she was probably the last person Rachel would want to live with.

"What about Shelby?"

The group all turned their heads to the door where they saw Rachel Berry standing. Rachel eyed them all individually as she continued to stand still, slightly leaning against the door frame. She saw Will start to get up and move over towards her. Stiffening her body slightly, she held her hands up in front of her.

"I'm fine" she quickly spoke as she wrapped her arms around herself almost as if she was protecting herself. Will continued to walk over to her and placed his hand on her arm.

"Rachel, Quinn told us what happened." He spoke but Rachel just stared at him blankly not saying anything. Her eyes wandered over to Finn who was sat there staring down to the floor.

"I need to go home" she suddenly quipped as she turned and headed towards the door but stopped when she heard Quinn yell her name.

"Rachel you can't go home" the blonde cried as she walked over to the tiny brunette and tried to pull on her arm.

"Why do you care? None of you even like me" Rachel spat as she shook her arm from Quinn's grip, her eyes once again looked at each of the group, she felt her anger rising up.

"Rach, that's not..." Mercedes started but was instantly cut off by Rachel.

"Don't you dare tell me that's not true! All the name calling...the looks...the laughing behind my back...I can't take it anymore! I can't be around people that don't accept me for who I am, like me for what I am and make me feel like a piece of crap on a daily basis. Fuck you all" she screamed, her eyes landed on Finn's who had finally decided to look at her. Rachel shook her head in anger and threw her arms up dramatically as she turned around and stormed towards the door.

"Fuck you all" she repeated again as she slammed the door shut behind her and began to run off down the street. The rest of the glee club sat around silently looking at each other. They knew she was grieving but what she had said was all true. They knew they constantly teased her but she never seemed to stick up for herself so they continued on with it, never once thinking about how it made her feel. Will turned around to look at the kids who were sat speechless at Rachel's outburst.

"We should probably split up and find her. It's going to get dark soon and there's a weather warning in place" he told them as he reached for his coat.

"She shouldn't be alone. It's her birthday today. She shouldn't be alone on her birthday" Brittany spoke sadly as she stood up and held her hand out to Artie. Quinn looked at her blonde friend before her eyes fell upon the calendar on the wall. She was right. December 18th. It was Berry's birthday. Quinn felt a tear fall down her face as she shook her head and judging by the looks on everyone else's faces, they had forgotten too.

"As if this day couldn't get any worse" she muttered, her heart breaking for Rachel. As Quinn stood, the rest of the group followed her out of the door as they headed off in separate directions to find Rachel.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:**

Thanks again to all those who have added this story to their favourites/alerts! I apologise for how long it's taken to get this chapter up. 

* * *

Shelby Corcoran let out a satisfied sigh as she watched Beth finally drift of to sleep, slowly backing out of the room, Shelby closed the door and headed towards her kitchen. The sound of the phone ringing out caused Shelby to almost dive across the floor to pick it up before the noise woke Beth.

"Hello?" she grunted in slight annoyance as she regained her balance and placed a hand on the counter.

"_Shelby? Hi, it's Will, Will Shuester. Sorry to bother you" _he apologised as her tone told him she wasn't best pleased.

Shelby frowned slightly, why would Will be calling her? The pair hadn't seen each other since regionals.

"Will, hi, it's okay, was there something I could help you with?" She asked as she balanced the phone between her ear and shoulder as she began to busy herself in the kitchen. Hearing the sigh on the other end of the phone caused her to come to a stand still.

"Will, what is it?" she snapped, getting irritated at how slow he seemed to be responding. Shelby felt her heart stop slightly, she knew it had to be something to do with Rachel. Even though she hadn't been in contact with Rachel she still cared for her, she always would, she was her first born daughter but they both agreed that there was nothing between them, they were strangers. Rachel didn't need her. Shelby was shaken from her thoughts when she heard Will begin to speak.

"_Hiram and Leroy, there was an accident, they...they're dead. It happened last night or early hours of this morning, I'm not quite sure which"_ he explained.

Shelby bowed her head down and held it in her free hand. She let Will's words sink in as she headed over to the couch.

"How is she, Will?" she eventually asked. Of course she knew what the answer would be, it was a stupid question to ask but it was all she could manage to say. Hiram and Leroy were good people, extremely good people, there would have been no way she would have been a surrogate for them if she didn't believe she was leaving her child in loving hands.

"_She's not good Shelby. She ran out of Quinn's house, we're all trying to look for her now before it gets too dark. She's confused, she's lost and she's hurting"_ Shelby swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat as she listened to Will. She knew what he was saying, what he was asking of her but she just didn't know if she could do it. Shelby's eyes wandered to her window where she glanced outside.

"Will, I, I don't" she stammered out. "Where are you?" she finally asked as she stood from the couch and picked up her bag and began riffling through.

"_I can be at your house in 10 minutes"_ he replied quickly and Shelby couldn't help but smile slightly.

"I need to get a sitter for Beth, I'll see you soon" she said down the phone and then hung up.

* * *

Rachel wasn't sure how long she had been walking for, she just knew that her legs were starting to ache and her body began to shiver in the cold. Wrapping her bare arms around herself, Rachel felt herself shiver. Glancing up, she saw she was once again outside of her school. She figured this would be the last place people would look for her, if they were in fact looking for her. Heading over to one of the benches, Rachel sat herself down. Letting out a small breath, Rachel sat motionless on the bench unsure of what to do. She was cold, lonely and just wanted to go home. Normally when she was confused over her feelings she would sing but right now she didn't want to do anything. Rachel could feel the air around her getting more and more bitter, she knew she wasn't doing herself any favours by sitting out in the cold.

"Happy Birthday, Rachel" she mumbled to herself as she slid down the bench slightly, letting her head rest on the back. Holding her arm up to eye level, Rachel looked at her watch, it was coming up for 6pm. She decided to sit for another few minutes, after that she wasn't entirely sure where she was going to head.

* * *

Will sat outside the home of Shelby Corcoran and waited for the woman. Leaning forward, Will pressed the radio on. He instantly recognised the familiar beats of the song 'Endless love' and shook his head. This had been the song he and Rachel had duet-ted on to show the others an example of what a duet was. Of course he realised how inappropriate it was but it had been too late to stop, they were already in mid-song. Will suddenly felt guilty at the position Rachel was in right now. She was out in the cold somewhere alone and most probably scared. He couldn't help but wonder that if he had been there more for her that she wouldn't have felt the need to run away from him and the other kids, had they really made her feel that unwanted? And even more importantly how had he not noticed? The sound of the car door opening shook him from his thoughts. He offered Shelby a small smile as she sat herself in the passenger seat, her facial expression was blank.

"You okay?" Will asked as he waited for her to buckle the seat belt.

"What happened?" she asked him ignoring his question.

Will began to pull out of Shelby's drive and began to explain to her the days events. Once he had finished explaining, Shelby turned away from Will and gazed out of the window.

"And none of you have no idea where she went?" she asked as she turned back to him and let out an annoyed sighed when he shook his head.

"The kids are all out looking, they'll let us know if they find her. In the mean time, can you think of anywhere she might go?" He asked and instantly knew the woman wasn't pleased at his question.

"Is that supposed to be funny? Make me feel like a bad mother because I don't know where my own daughter would run away too? I don't KNOW her, Will, we're strangers!" Shelby yelled and was stunned when she felt tears brimming at her eyes and eventually fall down her face. Turning her head, she looked straight out in front of her and wiped at her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I just, I failed her Will, I don't know what to do" She admitted, her voice came out weak. Will had never heard Shelby sound so defeated. He didn't want to tell her what to do, he knew of the situation between her and the Berry's but he couldn't even begin to understand how hard it was on all of them, especially Rachel and Shelby.

"Shelby, I'm not going to pretend to understand that I know how you're feeling because I don't. I know it must be hard on you but right now there's a 17 year old girl out there whose just lost the only two people in the world that's constantly been there for her, right now she's feeling completely alone."

Shelby felt more tears fall from her eyes as she heard Will's words. She hated the idea of Rachel being out somewhere by herself feeling scared and alone. It wasn't right. As Will's words ran through her mind, Shelby suddenly let out small gasp.

17.

The number echoed in her head as her eyes fell upon the car's dashboard, the date glaring back at her in bright green. Shelby closed her eyes.

"It's her birthday" she whispered out. Feeling a hand squeeze her shoulder lightly, Shelby held her hand over Will's.

* * *

At the sound of a message alert, Quinn quickly swiped her phone up and read the text. Reading the words, Quinn let her shoulders collapse slightly in defeat. It was coming up for an hour that they had all been looking for Rachel since she had fled from Quinn's house and none of them had managed to find her. Looking around her, Quinn could see she wasn't far from the high school, she decided it wouldn't hurt to check the place out seeing as she was so close. Putting the car in gear, Quinn headed down to the school. Pulling up outside the front, she turned her lights on brighter and looked around for the brunette. Seeing no sign, Quinn began to turn the car around, it was then she spotted something, a small shape sat on a bench opposite from the school. Squinting to try and get a better look, Quinn stopped the car when she was satisfied that it was in fact Rachel. Getting out of the car, she slowly walked over to the bench and quietly sat herself down next to the girl. Quinn turned her head to look at Rachel who continued to look out in front of her ignoring Quinn's presence. Glancing down, Quinn realised that Rachel was still in a short sleeve top. Shrugging herself out of her own jacket, Quinn placed it around Rachel's shoulders but jumped back in surprise as Rachel flinched and stood herself up.

"Rachel, it's just me" Quinn quickly told her as she stared at Rachel. The brunette's eyes flashed with fury as she threw the jacket on the bench.

"I don't need your charity, Quinn. Just leave me alone" Rachel spoke through gritted teeth as she turned on her heels but was soon turned around when she felt her arm being pulled back. She came face to face with the blonde.

"Just stop, Rachel! Let me help you" Quinn pleaded with the shorter girl.

"Stop? Why don't YOU stop, Quinn? I don't need you or anyone! What just because my dads are dead you decide you can suddenly come into my life and play the dutiful friend? Friendship doesn't work like that" she sneered as she shook her arm free from Quinn's grip which was surprisingly hard.

"I know, Rachel and I'm trying to make it up to you, I want to be your friend, I want to help you" Quinn spoke, she looked straight into Rachel's eyes.

"Well I don't want your help. All I want is to go home, just leave me alone." Rachel responded and once again turned around and walked away from Quinn. Standing still, Quinn watched as Rachel walked away. Turning around, Quinn headed back into her car.

* * *

Walking soon turned into running, Rachel's pace began to get quicker. She started to slow down when she recognised the corner of her street. Her breaths were coming out deep and shallow as she walked the last remaining paces to her front door. Without thinking, she placed her keys in the lock and pushed open the door. She paused in the entrance hall, her voice just about to shout out to her father's that she was home till realisation hit her. Throwing her keys at the wall, Rachel stalked further into the hall and into the living room, she let out a scream when she saw a familiar figure sitting on her couch.

"Are you kidding me? Which part of leave me alone didn't get through to that blonde brain of yours?" Rachel cursed as she narrowed her eyes at Quinn.

"It got through alright, I just chose to ignore it. Say what you want Rachel but I'm staying here, I'm not leaving you. Whether you like it or not I'm here for you"

Rachel stared open mouthed at Quinn. Without saying anything, Rachel turned around and headed up to her room. Slamming the door shut with frustration she threw herself down on her bed. Curling her legs up close to her body she hugged her pillow tightly. Her eyes stared at the picture frame that was on her locker of her and her father's on her 5th birthday. A small smile formed on her lips as the memories of that day filled in her head. Her eyes shifted from both of her father's. Rachel lightly began to hum, the lyrics of the song playing in her mind.

_On many dark days I have held my breath and driven past the graveyard  
Stood outside searching in the sky  
Shouting at the shooting stars  
Staring at the clock every time it hits  
11:11 I have made a wish for you  
I wish you back to me_

_And I tell myself that I'm alright  
But I know it's a lie  
So I try to bring you back to life  
To bring you back to life_

_On many cold nights I have driven to your door hoping it'll open  
Standing with flowers in my hand  
Wilted, waiting  
65 days 300 more and nothing's gonna change  
Everyday I'll wish you back to me_

_And I tell myself that I'm alright  
But I know it's a lie  
So I try to bring you back to life  
To bring you back to life_

_I'm blowing out your candles this year  
I'm catching all your snowflakes  
I'm crying all your tears_

_And I tell myself that I'm alright  
But I know it's a lie  
So I try to bring you back to life  
To bring you back to life_

As she hummed the last few notes,Rachel felt her eyes starting to close, she didn't fight them because for some reason she felt comforted by the fact that Quinn was sitting downstairs.

* * *

**Song credit: Jill and Kate - Bring you back to life**


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys!

Just wanted to post up an apology for not updating this week..and to apologise that I wont be able to update for another week because I'm going on holiday on Saturday till the following Sunday..however that gives me a total of a 16 hour plane journey to write enough for regular updates when I come home! So if there's anything you'd like to see..something you're not liking..etc etc then just let me know because after Saturday the fic should pretty much be finished.

I know a lot of you have bought up the issue, i was feeling particular down when I started this fic, I lost my dad a few months ago and most of what i'm writing is from my own experience. I thank you for those who are still adding this story to their alerts etc which is why I can't apologise enough for the delay in getting the next chapter up. I promise it will be with you no later than Monday the 28th Feb!


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay i'm back! Once again a thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed and added this story/me onto their alerts. Sorry it's taken a while to get this chapter up and it's not my favourite, I re-wrote it so many times! Anyway I'll stop rambling and let you get to it. (I'm still pretty jet lagged and typed this up quickly and probably haven't read through it properly so I apologise for any errors!)**

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Rachel laid perfectly still in her bed the following morning, even though she was awake, she kept her eyes firmly shut. She didn't want to have to open them and face yet another day without her fathers. Her hands clutched the cover that was pulled up close to her chin. Rachel welcomed the quietness around her, it made everything seem surreal, giving her some hope that perhaps this was all just some awful nightmare.

A few hours later, Rachel awoke once again with a start. She rubbed her eyes as she sat upright in her bed. She let her eyes wander around the room as she felt slightly disorientated. She wasn't sure if she had fallen back to sleep or whether she had been asleep all along. Hearing a sound, Rachel's head snapped to the direction of her door. Pulling herself onto her knees, she scooted and balanced on the edge of her bed and listened out. She frowned as she could hear talking, mainly because it was an older man's voice. Jumping out of her bed, Rachel raced down the stairs, an awkward and weary smile plastered on her face as she rain to the voice. She came to a stop when she reached the doorway of her living room and the smile on her face soon fell. For one split second she had believed that this all really was a nightmare. She had convinced herself she was running to the voice of one of her father's yet sitting in the room was Mr Schue, Quinn and Shelby. Rachel glared at the woman who was sat in her daddy's chair. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing would come out, she eyed the group once more before turning around and heading into the kitchen.

Keeping her back to the door, Rachel flicked the kettle on and began grabbing a bunch of papers and the phone and placed them on the table. Rachel didn't bother to turn around as she heard someone coming in. Pouring herself a coffee, she left 3 other mugs on the side for the others to help themselves if they wished and took her own mug and sat down at the table.

As she sat down, Rachel began shuffling through the papers, she kept her head firmly down as she busied herself and ignored the presence of the other person in the room.

"Rachel?" Quinn called out as she took a few steps closer towards the table and pulled out one of the chairs to sit on. Rachel looked up and gave Quinn a smile.

"Quinn, I appreciate you staying last night but i'm fine. You're free to leave" Rachel told her through a smile as she held the girl's look for a few moments before she glanced back down.

Quinn frowned at Rachel's actions. She knew Rachel was trying to push her away like she had done yesterday but Quinn refused to give in. She wasn't going to pretend she knew what Rachel was going through because she didn't but she could imagine how lonely, broken and lost she felt and she wasn't about to leave her alone to deal with that. Quinn wanted Rachel to realise that she was there for her, Rachel and the rest of glee had sung 'lean on me' to herself and Finn when they were both in need, now it was time for them to be there for Rachel. Ignoring Rachel's statement about her being free to leave, Quinn looked down at what Rachel was staring so intently at.

"What are you doing?" she asked as she tried to catch a glimpse at what Rachel was writing but failed.

Rachel let out a frustrated sigh as she placed the pen down and rubbed the side of her head.

"I have to call people, let them know that..." she started but refused to finish. "There's bills to pay and I need to organise the funeral, so I could really use some peace" she added on, a small ice cold sting filled her voice.

"Rachel you don't have to do that..." Quinn started but was cut of by Rachel before she could get anything else out.

"They're my father's, Quinn, of course I need to do it" she snapped. "Or rather were" she corrected as she realised she had used the present tense.

"Well then let me help you" Quinn replied back softly as she placed one of her hands over Rachel's.

"If you want to help me you can tell her to leave" she scolded as she pulled her hand away from Quinn's and let her eyes fall upon the door as she referred to Shelby.

"She's your mom, Rachel. She was worried about you" Quinn explained.

At hearing Quinn's words, Rachel let out a laugh and shook her head.

"If she cared so much then she would have chosen to be a part of my life, she made it clear that she wanted a family with anyone other than me" She scoffed as her mind travelled back to their conversation they had had at sectionals. Before Quinn had a chance to respond, both girls turned their attention towards the door as they heard it open. Quinn shot the woman standing in the doorway a small smile while Rachel gave her a hardened sare for a few seconds before she turned her attention back to what she had been doing.

"Rachel, we need to talk" Shelby started as she took a few steps further into the kitchen.

"I don't think we do" Rachel replied without glancing up. Quinn gazed from mother and daughter and excused herself from the room leaving the pair to talk. Sighing at Rachel's response, Shelby sat herself down in the chair Quinn had just vacated.

"Rachel" she tried again, this time her tone slightly more authoritative.

Rolling her eyes up, Rachel looked at the woman. Throwing the pen down, she slumped herself back in the chair and folded her arms across her chest.

"Fine then talk" she replied shortly and then fell silent looking at the older brunette. Shelby held her daughter's stare for a few minutes before finally speaking up.

"How are you?" she asked softly as she sat forward slightly. Rachel's forehead creased as she frowned.

"I'm fine"

"Clearly you're not, no-one would be" Shelby shot back.

"Clearly you don't know me, so don't tell me how i'm feeling and like I told Quinn I have a lot to do so would really appreciate it if you guys could leave" she responded back irritably.

"And i'm pretty sure I heard Quinn say you don't have to do this alone and she's right, Rachel, we're all here for you. Let us help you, you're 17 and shouldn't have to worry about doing all of this. You need to give yourself time to grieve for your dads" Shelby told her, she watched as she saw Rachel's eyes tear up for a moment but the watery expression was soon replaced with a stone hard glare once again.

"You told me you watched a chance at having a family, do it right this time, so just go and live your life, Shelby and let me deal with mine"

"Rachel I am starting over but I want you to be apart of mine and Beth's life, I didn't think you needed me but now you..." Rachel's eyes flashed with fury as she abruptly stood up.

"Don't you dare say that I need you. I've coped without you my whole life just fine. I'm not going to become your charity case just because you feel bad that my father's are dead. They taught me how to take care of myself and I pretty much learned that I had no-one else to trust in my life except for them, they were the only ones to ever be there for me throughout my whole life. So don't you dare come here saying that I need you. I don't need anyone." she yelled and suddenly become silent as something Shelby said suddenly hit her.

"Whose Beth?" she blurted out and watched as Shelby's face fell.

"I uh..I adopted a baby" she mumbled out and knew it wouldn't take long for Rachel to put two and two 's eyes moved from Shelby's over to the kitchen door that led to the room where Quinn was most probably sat.

"You...you adopted Quinn's baby?" she questioned her voice coming out hoarse. She held back tears as she watched Shelby nod her head. It didn't bother her that Shelby had adopted a baby, it was the fact that it was Quinn's baby. Everything about Quinn was perfect, of course Shelby would want a daughter like her, Rachel thought as she turned and started walking towards the lounge.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she snapped as soon as she caught sight of the blonde. Quinn gave Rachel a guilty look as she looked from the seething brunette to Mr Schue who was now standing between the two of them.

"Rachel we thought it was best if you didn't know" The teacher began to explain.

"Oh of course you knew" she shouted as she threw her arms up in the air and brought them back down to her sides as she twisted around to face the man.

"Giving away all my solo's and silencing my talent in glee wasn't enough? I know you don't like me but you had NO right to keep that from me" Rachel spat out, her voice breaking mid sentence. Taking a breath, she swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. "All of you just get the hell out of my house" she scolded as she stormed past them and headed up the stairs.

Shelby's eyes followed Rachel and when she was out of sight looked back to the other two.

"I'm sorry, Quinn, it slipped out" she sighed."What do we do now?" she questioned and looked at Will who simply let out a small sigh.

"I think we need to give her some time, I'm refusing to leave her on her own though. I'll go home and pack some things and come back later" It was Quinn who spoke up and took control off the situation and quickly left the Berry household before either adult had a chance to respond.


	8. Chapter 8

**I know I suck. I'm SO sorry about how long it's taken to update this and if anybody is still out there reading it, then thank you! Unfortunately I don't like this chapter much..had a bit of a block when writing it but here it is anyway! Also, I'm pretty sure i'm about ready to wrap this up in around 2/3 chapters time!**

Santana Lopez stood knocking impatiently outside of Rachel Berry's house. She moaned to herself at how long she had been waiting out in the cold for someone, most probably Quinn, to open the door. As her body let out a violent shiver, Santana decided to try her luck and pulled down on the handle, a triumphant smile appearing on her face as the door easily flung open.

Stepping inside, Santana hovered in the hallway as she listened out for voices. Frowning as she heard nothing, she decided it was wise to make her presence in the house known, otherwise she could imagine Berry coming at her with a baseball bat or something. "Q? Man...er Rachel?" she called out but got no answer. Making her way further into the house, she checked out the downstairs but found it empty.

"Hello?" she called out, scrunching her face at the quietness that she was receiving. Her gaze lifted up to the stairs and she slowly made her way up. "Hello?" she repeated as she got to the top. It was easy to spot Rachel's room seeing as it had a giant gold star with her name in the middle stuck on the door. Santana lightly rolled her eyes as she made her way over to the brunette's room. Seeing the door was slightly ajar, Santana pushed it slightly and stuck her head round. She immediately spotted a pair of legs sprawled out on the floor. Stepping further in, Rachel soon became in full sight.

"Surely the beds more comfortable?" the Latina observed with a slight grin as she looked at Rachel sat on the floor with her back pressed firmly against the end of the bed. Santana glanced around the room, she knew if the situation was different she would have already thrown out several insults about the decor of it.

"Where's Q?" she asked as she focused her gaze back onto Rachel who simply shrugged.

"I don't know, I'm not her keeper" she huffed, her eyes never leaving the paper that rested on her lap, something that didn't go unnoticed by Santana.

"What's that?" she asked as she took a seat next to Rachel on the floor. Letting out a sigh, Rachel handed the letter over to Santana who read over it.

"Oh" She replied as she shot Rachel a sad glance and then looked at her watch.

"Shouldn't you be.. you know, heading there?" she asked as she waved the paper slightly.

Shooting a sideways glance, Rachel snatched the letter from Santana's hand.

"Ow! Paper cuts, man-hands!" Santana cursed as she studied her hands. Looking up she caught Rachel's eyes and held her stare. Once again she saw the hardness etched into the usually loving brown eyes.

"I'm sorry.." Santana began to apologize for calling Rachel man-hands but was instantly cut of by the diva who had quickly stood.

"You're sorry? For what Santana? For calling me man hands JUST then or for calling me that and many other awful names for the past year or so? Please, I really am interested to know what the fuck you're actually sorry about?" she spat out. Santana's eyes widened at what was coming out of Rachel's mouth, a small part of her wanted to give the girl a smile and a high five for finally standing up for herself.

"Berry, you swore, you gone all bad-ass on us now?" she retorted. She knew the girl was on the verge of breaking and she probably wasn't helping but she knew Rachel needed to break, she needed to grieve.

Rachel shook her head, balling her fists up in temper she felt ready to explode but she knew what would happen if she did. Taking in a breath and letting it out gently she turned her back on Santana.

"I need you to leave" she stated flatly.

Santana stood quiet for a moment while she contemplated what to do. Eventually, she turned and headed to the door but paused as she held onto it, she turned her head and looked over her shoulder to Rachel's back.

"You'll ask us to leave Rachel and we will but we'll keep coming back" she spoke, her voice coming out in such a sympathetic tone that it caused Rachel to spin around to check it was still Santana standing in her room. The girls eyed each other for a moment before Rachel averted her eyes to glance at the floor.

* * *

It took everything Rachel had in her to muster up the strength to step outside of her house. Despite the weather being severely cold, she had gone out in the lightest of clothes possible, she was soon regretting her choice of clothing as she neared the end of the street and snow began to fall heavily from the sky. Rachel let out a soft growl as she knew her journey still had at least another 30 minutes of walking in it.

Twenty eight minutes later, Rachel was standing outside the tall building. Her hands were shoved into the pockets of her small jacket to try and warm them up as she stood staring at the building she knew she had to walk in to but couldn't face it. Her wandering mind was bought back to reality when she heard a voice.

"Miss?"

Rachel's eyes adjusted to a man that was hovering in the doorway, one hand outstretched holding the door for her,

"Are you going in?" he asked and she slowly nodded as she accepted the door and headed down the hallway.

Fifteen minutes later Rachel walked out of the building. She clutched on to her stomach willing the sickness feeling to go away but all that was running through her mind was fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes was all it had taken to arrange her two father's final goodbye...fifteen Minutes. Taking in a few sharp breaths, Rachel perched herself on the wall to steady her shaking body. When she felt slightly calmer, she stood herself up and began the journey home. The cold air stung at her face as she wondered how much colder it had gotten since she was inside. Getting lost in her thoughts, Rachel hadn't noticed the car that had began to crawl along side her or the blonde driver who was trying to get her attention. The sound of a car horn caused Rachel's heart to pound as she was suddenly bought back to reality. She paused in her tracks as she looked around to see what had happened but all she saw was Quinn pulling to a stop.

"Rachel, get in!" She yelled as she wound down the passenger's window.

"Just leave me alone Quinn" the brunette replied as she began walking once again but soon spotted the cheerleaders car slowly creeping along side her.

"You either get in or I drive like this the whole way to your house" the blonde muttered in annoyance but soon smiled when the younger girl yanked on the car handle and threw herself in and slammed the door shut.

Quinn sat and looked at Rachel as she saw her whole body shivering slightly. It was then she noted the girl's clothing.

"Rachel what the hell? You've been out walking in the cold in THIS?" she scolded as she pointed to the skirt.

"And with no hat or gloves? What were you trying to do?" She continued but stopped as she saw she was getting no where with the girl who had just continued to sit in silence and stare in front.

Starting the car back up, Quinn drove back to Rachel's house, the pair remained silent until they got out of the car and Quinn followed Rachel to the front door.

"What do you think you're doing?" Rachel asked as she eyed the bags that were in Quinn's hands.

"I'm staying here with you, now hurry up and get inside before we BOTH catch a death cold" she muttered and gave Rachel a hardened stare as the brunette remained still.

"I don't want you here" Rachel retorted as she crossed her arms over her chest. Shaking her head, Quinn grabbed the keys from Rachel's hands and side stepped around her. Opening the door, she headed inside and dropped her bags at the bottom of the stairs.

"I don't care what you say, Rachel. I'm staying" Quinn finally replied as she placed both hands on her hips and waited for the brunette to follow her inside. Once she finally did, Quinn turned on her heels and headed into the kitchen and pulled out two mugs.

"Why were you out walking in the cold hardly wrapped up AND with it being so late in the afternoon? You know it's not safe to be walking around by yourself. Especially in the winter when it get's so dark" Quinn asked as she finished making the pair a hot chocolate and handed one to Rachel.

Rachel kept her arms firmly crossed over her chest as she looked at Quinn holding a mug out to her. Of course she wanted desperately to accept it, her body was so cold and it longed for the warm liquid but she was still angry. Lowering the mug, Quinn let out a sigh.

"Rachel look I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Beth and Shelby, we just did what we thought was best for you. We were going to tell you eventually, just when we thought it wouldn't come as such a blow" she told the girl, her eyes brimmed slightly with tears as she took a step closer to Rachel and put a hand on her arm.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. Just please, stop shutting me out" the blonde begged as she searched Rachel's eyes for any clues on to what she was feeling. The brunette's eyes softened as she looked at Quinn's. Reaching out, she picked up the mug of hot chocolate the girl had offered her earlier, she knew it wasn't particularly what Quinn had meant when she asked her to stop shutting her out but for now, it was all Rachel could give.

A small smile appeared on Quinn's face as she watched Rachel pick up the mug. Of course she had been hoping the girl would speak to her but she knew this was at least a small step in the right direction.

Heading into the living room, Rachel curled up in one of her Dad's chairs while Quinn took a seat on the sofa that was nearest to the chair.

"The funeral's Friday"

Quinn looked up as she heard the soft voice, she looked at Rachel for a few moments while she registered the girl's words and then finally nodded in understanding.

"That's what you were out doing?" she questioned even though she knew the answer. As Rachel nodded, Quinn let out a soft sigh.

"I wish you would have let me come with you, you don't have to do this alone, you know that right?" she pressed as she watched Rachel fall silent once again. Stretching out her hand, Quinn placed it on top of Rachel's that was resting on the arm of the chair. Clinging on, she gently squeezed her hand reassuringly. Relaxing her fingers, Quinn gazed back to the TV and suddenly felt her own hand being squeezed. A small smile appeared on Quinn's face as the pair continued to sit in silence with their hands joined.


	9. Chapter 9

Rachel stood glaring at the person who was stood on the other side of the door. Clinging to the door frame, she remained silent and waited for the older woman to speak.

"Can I come in?" Shelby finally asked and let out a small sigh as Rachel shook her head in response.

"Please, Rachel" she pressed as she moved her head slightly lower to make eye contact with her daughter. As Rachel gave in and stepped to the side, Shelby gave her a small smile as she moved into the Berry's house. Waiting in the hallway, Shelby followed Rachel into the living room. She watched as the young girl curled herself up in a chair and focused her gaze on the TV. Heading over to the table that was opposite the chair Rachel was sat on, Shelby sat herself down, blocking the view of the TV. Something that didn't go down well with Rachel.

"Do you mind?" Rachel snapped as she swung her legs down on the floor and sat herself up straighter.

"We need to talk" Shelby told Rachel.

"No, you need to talk to try and make yourself feel better" Rachel scoffed and rolled her eyes before landing them back onto Shelby. "I don't need you messing with my life!"

"Rachel that's not what I'm trying to do. Look, I didn't come over here to fight, it's the funeral tomorrow I just thought you would like some support today, that's all" the older woman replied softly. She knew her and Rachel had unresolved issues that had to be sorted but right now they were something that needed to wait.

Rachel's eyes softened and she gave the woman a half smile.

"I appreciate that but I'm fine" Rachel spoke the infamous words again, she had said the word 'fine' that many times that she was beginning to forget what it actually meant.

Shelby reached out her hand and placed it on Rachel's knee and gave it a gentle squeeze, she was surprised when Rachel didn't pull back. Of course Shelby knew Rachel wasn't fine but the last thing she wanted to do was cause her more pain and she could tell her daughter wasn't best pleased with her presence. Nodding, Shelby stood up and placed her bag over her shoulder.

"Alright, honey. I'll leave you be. Maybe I can call you tonight?" she asked in a hopeful tone and had to bite back a smile when Rachel slowly nodded and then gave a small shrug. Not feeling the need to say anything else, Shelby turned around and headed towards the door. Catching the sight of Quinn walking down the stairs, the pair moved closer towards the front door.

"How's she been doing, Quinn?" Shelby asked in a hushed tone as she looked to the blonde. Quinn's eyes wandered over to the living room door and then back to Shelby, Quinn held the older woman's stare before her eyes began to water. Seeing the blonde's eyes begin to spill with tears, Shelby pulled her into a hug.

"You've taken on so much, Quinn. I don't think I can ever thank you for what you're doing for her" Shelby whispered as she smoothed down the back of Quinn's matted hair. Pulling apart, Quinn gave Shelby a grateful smile.

"It's just so hard, Shelby. I'm trying but I just don't know how to help her" Quinn confessed as she chewed down on her lip and tried to prevent anymore tears from spilling.

Placing her hands on Quinn's shoulders, Shelby arched her back slightly so she was looking directly at the cheerleader. "Listen to me, you've already helped her in such a big way, Quinn and whatever you're doing is working, that girl in there is ready to break and as much as it pains me to say this, she needs to. It seems that you are the only one getting through to her"

Taking in a deep breath, Quinn wiped at her eyes. "I promise you I'll be there for her when she does" Quinn reassured the older woman who once again drew Quinn in for a hug.

Once Shelby left, Quinn made her way into the lounge to find Rachel sat upright in one of the chairs.

"Morning" she spoke quietly, from what it seemed Rachel was in a daze and the last thing Quinn wanted to do was frighten her. Rachel moved her head into Quinn's direction and frowned.

"Have you been crying?" she asked as she noted the redness around the girl's eyes.

Quinn instantly shook her head.

"What? No! I just got some make-up remover in my eye. Serves me right for not taking it off last night" she said with a smile laugh and pointed towards the kitchen.

"Coffee?" she asked and walked away before Rachel had a chance to respond. Before Quinn had even reached the kitchen, Rachel was hot on her heels.

"Quinn, I'm not stupid. What's wrong?" Rachel pressed. She hated the idea that Quinn was in pain and choosing to ignore it. Sighing, Quinn turned around to face the smaller girl.

"I'm worried about you is all" Quinn finally replied as she side stepped around Rachel and headed into the kitchen and began pouring herself and Rachel a coffee. She could hear Rachel letting out a small sigh and turned to face her as she handed over a mug.

Rachel eyed her wearily before accepting it.

"I've told you, Quinn, you don't need to I'm..."

"Fine, yes I know, Rachel. You tell me that every time" Quinn cut her off and snapped which caught Rachel off guard.

"What is your problem?" the brunette snapped back and became frustrated when all she got in response was a shrug from Quinn.

"What do you want to do today?" the blonde finally spoke and looked up to face the confused brown eyes staring at her.

"n...nothing" Rachel stammered out as she placed the untouched mug of coffee on the side and headed out of the kitchen and up the stairs to her room. Quinn watched in silence as Rachel put her mug on the kitchen side and headed up the stairs without muttering another word. Sitting down at the table, Quinn placed her head in her hands and shook it lightly. She was exhausted. Pulling out her phone, Quinn selected the option to send a multi-text.

_Rachel's house, 4pm. Bring snacks & movies. - Q_

As she pressed send, Quinn couldn't help but feel guilty. The small get together was supposed to be for Rachel but somehow she felt as if she had done it to make herself feel better. Several minutes later, her phone began beeping crazily.

_Sure thing but I aint watching no musical shit - S_

_But don't tell Berry I said that - S_

_Girls night in supply kit already packed - K_

_I'm there, see you in a few - M_

_Hope U 2 R Ok, see U later - T_

_I have no snacks or movies, i'll just bring me - B_

As she read the last text, Quinn let out a small smile. She had thought about inviting the whole of the glee club but something told her that Rachel would be too overwhelmed with all the company and so she settled on just the girls and of course, Kurt.

Putting her phone back in her pocket, Quinn slowly made her way up the stairs and quietly poked her head around the door of Rachel's room. Her eyes immediately fell upon the sleeping form of Rachel Berry, her legs pulled up as close to her chin as possible. Pulling a blanket that was lazily thrown over a chair, Quinn carefully laid it over the sleeping girl before once again quietly making her way out of the room.

Rachel laid dazed and confused on her bed. Her eyes drifted from the clock that was glaring at her with the time of 5.08 pm down to the blanket that had been carefully laid across her. She frowned, having not remembered pulling it over herself or in fact even falling asleep. Swinging her legs over the bed, Rachel made her way down the stairs of the house. The sound of light chattering hit her as she stopped just outside of the living room. Pushing the door slightly, she was immediately met with a sea of familiar faces.

"Well, well, Sleeping beauty, you decided to join us after all" the Latina cheerleader grinned as she tossed a bottle of soda in Rachel's direction which the diva caught easily.

"Nice catch, we could do with hands like that on the cheerios" she added on with a slight wink and couldn't help but grin as Rachel's face flushed. Quinn, watched the exchanged holding a breath but soon smiled when she saw a small grin appear on Rachel's face.

Kurt leaped off the sofa and threw his arms around Rachel. The pair stumbled slightly but he tightened his grip, giving the girl a small squeeze.

"You doing okay?" he whispered as she pulled apart but kept his face close to hers. She held his look for a moment and slowly nodded. They both knew it was a lie. Kurt gave Rachel a reassuring smile before tapping the end of her nose and grinning.

"Come on, Santana has been unbearably excited about this musical movie marathon" he teased as he pulled Rachel down on the sofa next to him and threw a grin to the Latina who narrowed her eyes at him.

"Rach, what do you want to watch first?" Tina pipped up as she laid the DVDs out on the floor that they had bought between them. Leaning forward slightly, Rachel glanced over the various titles and couldn't help but laugh. It was blatantly obvious who had bought each DVD.

Eventually, they had settled on 27 dresses. Kurt cuddled into Rachel on the couch with Quinn on the other side. Tina and Mercedes had made a makeshift bed on the floor and Brittany and Santana were happily cuddled together on one of the chairs.

Hearing a slight sniffle, Rachel glanced away from the TV and to the source of the noise.

"Santana? Are you crying?" she asked amused.

The Latina looked up and frowned at all the eyes that were now looking at her.

"What? No!" she shot back and huffed when she got laughter in response.

"Alright, so I'm a sucker for rom-coms. Sue me but come on! I mean poor Jane" she replied which received more laughter. "You tell anyone about this and I'm gonna go Lima Heights on all your asses" she huffed and smiled triumphantly as the laughter died down.

As the credits off the second movie rolled up. Kurt sat up and stretched his arms letting out a yawn.

"I think that's a cue to head off" Mercedes spoke as she and Tina began placing the cushions back on Rachel's furniture. Kurt turned to Rachel and once again engulfed her in an embrace.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" he said as he gave her arms a reassuring squeeze before heading to the front door. Mercedes and Tina each gave Rachel's arm a small pat and gave the diva a smile before following Kurt. Brittany, who had appeared from no-where threw her arms around Rachel similar to Kurt but with the blonde being much taller, she practically picked up the tiny brunette.

"Don't be too sad, Rach" she whispered to the girl before releasing her from the strong grip she had had on her. Looking up, Rachel gave Brittany a thankful smile and then her eyes were met with another set of brown eyes. The pair locked eyes for a few moments before the Latina gave the diva a smile.

Rachel walked slowly behind the group and paused as she reached the stairs. She waited until she heard the click of the front door before turning around to face Quinn.

"Goodnight, Rachel" Quinn spoke and was about to head back into the living room but her eyes caught sight of Rachel faltering in her step.

"Rach?" she asked as she turned to fully face the brunette, a look of concern on her face.

"I..it's just...I..tomorrow..I don't..." Rachel's words began tumbling out of her mouth, she knew they made no sense but it was all she could get out. Thankfully, Quinn had seemingly understood. Nodding, Quinn turned on her heels and began to follow Rachel up the steps.

As Rachel took to her side off the bed, Quinn laid herself on the other side,her arms rested beside her and she soon felt something on her hand. Looking down, she saw it was Rachel's.

"Night Rach" she whispered out as her head turned to the side, her eyes closing almost immediately.


	10. Chapter 10

**Some of you have asked if this is a Faberry. Yes and No. It's a Faberry friendship but I guess it could be taken as more..I guess it depends on how you read it but for me, I'm writing it with friendship in mind ;).Also, I've just finished this chapter and it's early hours of the morning here..I've done my best to spell/grammar check and re-read through it all..so I apologise for anything sloppy in there I may have missed.  
**

Rolling over, Quinn let out a small groan and squeezed her eyes even tighter as the bright light stung at them. Rubbing them slightly, she slowly opened one of them and glanced at the clock. It was almost 7am. Sighing, she rolled over and frowned at the empty sight next to her. Climbing out of the bed, Quinn began to make her way down the hallway and was about to descend down the stairs until something caught her eye. Glancing further around, Quinn noticed the usually locked bedroom door belonging to Hiram and Leroy was slightly ajar. Backing up, she stopped in front of it and lightly pushed it open a little more. Her eyes were met with the sight of Rachel sitting crossed legged on the bed staring down at her hands.

Silently heading towards the girl, Quinn sat down on the bed opposite from her and took Rachel's hands in her own.

"I'm gonna miss this"

The voice was almost silent that Quinn wasn't sure if she had even heard right. Looking at Rachel,she frowned slightly.

"What are you going to miss?" she questioned, unsure of what Rachel's words meant.

Rachel lightly pulled at Quinn's hands that were holding onto her own and held them up slightly.

"Us being friends" her voice once again whispered.

Rachel's words stung at Quinn as she finally noted what she had meant. It pained Quinn to think of how much she had hurt her in the past.

"Rachel, I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for you and I don't mean just for right now" she explained. Looking up, their eyes met. It seemed as if for a moment Rachel would accept Quinn's answer but after a while, the brunette shook her head.

"Quinn we both know the only reason you're here right now is because you feel sorry for me. Moments before you knew what happened you were still calling me awful names..still making me feel like an outcast. Can all that really change? You and I both know that after today you and everyone else will go back to hating me and I'll go back to being the outsider" she spoke calmly. Her voice didn't break, it was something she had become used to.

"Rachel no.." Quinn gasped out as she felt her eyes beginning to water up. "People don't hate you, Rachel. I don't hate you..I was..." Quinn started and had to take a breath as her voice began to break. "jealous. We're all just jealous Rachel. You're someone whose not afraid to be themselves, you walk around that place with your head held high. You wear what you want to wear, you do what you want to do and you don't give a damn what anyone else thinks. The rest of us care too much. I had to worry about what people thought of me...I had to be popular and I hated it. I hated the fact that I seemed to have it all yet I had nothing..and there you were with everything" she continued and paused. "And what made it worse was the fact that you're so damn talented. You're the most talented person in that school and we all know that someday you'll get to leave Lima behind, you'll go far while the rest of us will be stuck here. That's why I hated you, Rachel because you made me realise how much I hated myself for pretending to be this person..but I just couldn't stop. I loved the popularity, I loved the attention..but..I can't do it anymore, I want to be happy" Quinn stopped and looked up to Rachel. A few stray tears slid down her face.

"I'm so, so sorry Rachel"

Rachel held Quinn's gaze for a short moment before breaking away, her head dipped down and once again looked at her hands that were folded in front of her, she let the silence fill between them but it was a peaceful silence, almost as if a weight had been lifted off of each of them.

As Rachel fell silent, Quinn let out a small sigh of relief. The silence spoke louder than any words could. It was a comforting silence. Quinn didn't need to hear Rachel say the words that she forgave her because her actions were doing that instead. Slowly but surely Rachel was letting Quinn in and that was worth a lot more than any spoken words.

As if to confirm Quinn's thoughts, Rachel's soft voice once again filled the room.

"I can't do it, Quinn. I can't say goodbye to them"

Quinn got up from the bed and turned herself around and sat back down next to Rachel placing an arm around her. She tried to think of some comforting words she could say but in the end she came to the same conclusion, nothing she could say would make any of this easier.

"It's not goodbye, Rach. Today we're going to celebrate your dad's for who they were, for everything they did" she whispered and gave a small smile when she saw Rachel's head nod ever so slightly. After a few minutes, Quinn gave Rachel a squeeze and let go of the embrace, letting out a soft sigh she lightly nudged Rachel's shoulder with her own. The brunette looked over to the blonde and gave her a small smile.

* * *

Rachel stood in front of her dressing table studying her reflection in the mirror. She brushed her fingers through her long brown hair and smoothed down the front of her plain black dress. She made no attempt to move when she heard a knock at her bedroom door. Whoever it was began to make their way further into the room. Continuing to stare at her reflection, Rachel eventually moved her gaze up to the slightly older version of herself.

"I'm not staying but I just wanted to come and check on you" the older brunette started as her hand hovered above Rachel's shoulder for several seconds before she slowly placed it down on her daughter. Rachel's eyes held that of Shelby's for a while before they glanced down at the floor in front of her and she nodded her head slightly. Slowly turning around, Rachel couldn't help but feel somewhat comforted by how close she was to her mother, it was taking everything she had in her to not throw her arms around the woman and let her hold onto her. Looking up, Rachel gave Shelby a half smile.

"Thank you, Shelby" she eventually spoke.

"Do you need a ride to the..I mean I assume you're riding with Quinn?" she asked as she headed back towards the bedroom door.

"Again, thank you for the offer but Quinn is taking me. I will see you there" Rachel responded and gave her mother a slight nod before watching her walk out of the room. Glancing at her clock, Rachel felt her stomach tie in knots. It was time. As if on cue, Quinn appeared at the door.

"Rachel, we need to get going"

Standing up from her bed, Rachel looked at Quinn. Her mouth twisted open, ready to protest against the blonde's words. Quinn, as if sensing Rachel's thoughts moved closer to the small brunette. Tucking loose strands of Rachel's hair behind her ear, Quinn took a hold of her hand and led the diva out of her room.

* * *

Walking up the building, Rachel felt a thousand pairs of eyes falling upon her. Her hand fumbled around until it found that of Quinn's, she grasped onto it as she looked up to the sea of people that were all giving her a smile of sadness. Her eyes glanced over each of them until she finally reached the door. Standing still, she pulled Quinn's body in front of hers, she didn't want to have to look at all the faces staring at her like she was some kind of freak. Confused, Quinn turned around and eyed the small brunette.

"You okay?" she whispered and felt her heart break when Rachel just gazed firmly to the ground. Her head nodding ever so slowly. Turning back, Quinn gave the people entering the room a small smile and a nod on Rachel's behalf.

As the last person entered, Quinn once again turned around to face Rachel. She was pleased to see that the brunette was looking up.

"I don't even know half of these people" she mumbled as her eyes fell upon the doors.

"Come on, it's time" Quinn spoke softly and began walking with Rachel into the room to the pew at the front. Rachel took slow steps, her head once again pointed firmly down gazing at her shoes, she knew the faces were staring at her still. After seeing they were almost at the front, Rachel lifted her head and was immediately met with the sight of two caskets. Rachel's hand began to grip onto Quinn's with all her strength, so much so it caused the blonde to hiss out in pain.

Quinn looked from their joined hands up to Rachel's eyes. Tugging on the girl's arm, Quinn tried to pull Rachel over to the seat but the brunette seemed to be using all her force to keep her body from moving. By Rachel not moving, Quinn stumbled back slightly and stood in front of Rachel, blocking the view of the caskets.

"Rachel.."

"I can't..Quinn..I can't" the brunette mumbled repeatedly.

"Rachel..." she tried a second time but once again was silenced with the brunette's pleading words. Glancing desperately over her shoulder, Quinn looked around for anyone to help her. Shelby eventually locked eyes with Quinn and was soon at the girl's side.

"Come on hon" Shelby whispered as she pushed her arm through Rachel's and guided her towards the seats with Quinn in tow.

Rachel wasn't exactly sure what was happening. She was sat in between her mother and Quinn, her eyes fixated on the wood chipped bench in front of her. The voice speaking was muffled in her ears, she had tried to pay attention to what was being said but it proved too difficult. Feeling a small dig in her side, Rachel frowned and glanced up to see Quinn looking at her.

"You're up" the blonde whispered in a hushed tone and Rachel realised that everything had fallen silent and once again all eyes were on her, waiting for her to get up. Rachel's eyes darted from Quinn to the front of the room where the stand had been vacated for her. Using the wood in front of her, Rachel eventually stood and slowly made her way up to the front. Turning around, her eyes glanced around at all those staring up at her. In all her life, the thought of all eyes looking up at her was exciting and thrilling..it gave her a rush but right now she wanted nothing more than to just run and hide from them all. Her eyes latched upon a familiar set and the blonde girl gave her a reassuring nod, Rachel returned it and cleared her throat.

"My uh..my Daddies would firstly want me to thank you all for coming. I..they...they were my best friends. Growing up, they gave me everything. I never needed for anything. I used to ask them why our family was so different to everyone else and they would just simply smile and tell me it was because we were special. They were, they were special." Rachel started and paused. Last night, she had thought about writing everything down but the idea of having to do that tore her up, instead she was just saying what was coming into her head.

"But I guess if you're here then you knew how special they were" she whispered out and realised there was nothing else she wanted to say to the people in front of her. Turning around, she looked at the two wooden caskets that were laying side by side. She placed a hand on each of them.

"Dad...Daddy. You gave me the best life a girl could have ever dreamed off. You two were the only people in my life who never stopped loving me for being me. You made me believe in myself, made me feel special. I..can't thank you enough for the life you have given me. I only hope that I can make you two proud. I..I miss you both so much. Please don't leave me" she whispered as her fingers curled up on the wood.

The touch of a hand on her back caused Rachel to look away. Placing his arm around her, Quinn took Rachel back to her seat. The rest of the service was a blur to Rachel because the next thing she knew she was back at her house, standing in the corner of the dining room.

* * *

Rachel had never detested the color black as much as she did there and then. Looking around all she could see were people dressed in black. Strangers were coming up to her, talking to her as if they expected her to know who they were, all of them telling her how sorry they were and how her father's had been amazing men. Rachel felt herself becoming more and more angry and so when someone handed her a drink, she flipped. Her father's were meant to be the ones to bring her a drink when she was sad, no-one else. Rachel's furious eyes didn't even see who was extending the cup out towards her. Thrashing her arm out, she knocked it out of their hands.

"Just stop!" she yelled. The whole room had fallen silent and all that could be heard were the loud breaths coming from Rachel Berry and still as she scanned the room all she saw was those damn eyes, all of them throwing her a sympathetic look.

"Just fucking stop" she repeated, this time her voice much lower but in an almost poisoning tone. Turning on her heels, Rachel fled up to the bathroom and quickly put the latch on. She needed peace, she needed to not see eyes watching her every move. Sitting on the floor, she bought her knees up close to her chin and placed her head in her arms.

Everyone downstairs stood looking around at each other. Most unsure of what to do went back to the small conversation they were having in their circles.

"Someone should go after her" Santana finally spoke up as the glee club and Shelby had seemingly formed their own small circle. All heads nodded in agreement and all eyes fell upon Quinn.

Nodding, Quinn attempted to move but stopped herself.

"I will, maybe I'll just give her a few moments to herself. This has to be overwhelming for her" she said as she gestured to all the people in the room. Everyone nodded in agreement.

* * *

Eventually, as the last few remaining visitors began to leave, Quinn made her way up the stairs. She scouted around to try and find Rachel before eventually coming to a stop at the bathroom door, Quinn tapped at it lightly.

"Rach? Rachel it's me" She called out as she tried the handle. "Can you open the door?" she asked and fell silent, her ear pressed up to the door trying to hear something. When nothing came, Quinn tried again.

"Rachel please, everyone's gone. Almost." she told the girl on the other side of the door and let out a sigh of relief at the sound of the latch unlocking. The door opened and without saying a word, Rachel walked passed Quinn and headed downstairs. Walking into the dining room, Rachel began clearing up the various cups and plates that were all over the place.

"Rachel, you don't have to do that"

Looking up, her eyes fell upon nearly every member of New Directions and Shelby sat in the living room.

"Of course I do" she snapped at Mercedes.

"What I meant was, we can do it for you" Mercedes tried to amend but it was clear by the look in Rachel's eye, nothing she said would have worked.

"This is my house. I will clean it" she responded, her teeth gritted together.

"Rach..." This time it was Kurt who had started to speak and move from his chair.

"For god's sake why won't you people leave me the hell alone?" Rachel scolded as she threw the cups that were in her hand on the floor. Her body flinched at the sound of crashing china and glass as they hit the floor. Her hardened eyes focused on Kurt's for a moment before she looked down. She shook her head at the mess that was now in front of her feet.

"Rachel, we'll get a broom" Mr Schue finally piped up as he watched Rachel try to pick up the pieces with her bare hands.

"Shit!" Turning around, he saw Rachel cradling her hand in the other. Immediately, nearly everyone had jumped up. All throwing worrying glances her way, all trying to reach out to help. Jumping up, Rachel shrank back from them all. Her eyes filled with fury.

"What is with you all? I mean come on, none of you even liked me before any of this happened. So what, now because you feel sorry for me you expect me to let you treat me like some sort of charity case?" she screeched as she continued to back further away from them.

"We know we haven't been great to you but please Rachel, let us help you.." Kurt spoke softly, his eyes pleading with the brunette diva. Rachel shook her head furiously.

"All of you just back the fuck OFF" She cursed. Feeling her back hit the wall her eyes lingered to the door, it was so close, she wanted nothing more to run to it but suddenly Mr Schuester was right in front of her. His hands placed firmly on the tops of her arms, his eyes bending down to look straight into hers.

"Rachel, honey" He tried to soothe but Rachel shook her head viciously. Despite being small, Rachel had quite the strength and with everything she had she pushed back, causing Will to stumble slightly but his grip on Rachel never loosened. He held on tighter as she continued to wriggle.

"Rachel" he repeated. His eyes searched for hers but it proved difficult with the mass of long brown hair that thrashed over her face but he could feel her weakening, so he pressed further.

"Rachel" he said once again softly and the thrashing brunette started to weaken.

"Please, Mr Schue..just.." she pleaded as she met his eyes. Her body suddenly became looser, almost as if she lost all control of it .

"Mr Schue, please" she tried again but his arms gripped tighter around her and it was at that moment, with his arms wrapped around her she felt herself begin to crumble. The arms of an older man - a father figure holding her once again.

Rachel felt her knees buckle and if Will hadn't of had a firm grip on her she would have fallen hard. Lowering her to the floor, he held onto her tighter.

His heart broke as he felt the whole of Rachel's body shake in his arms with sobs.


End file.
